A loosing battle

So today I'm so very sick. I have been all weekend. I think I may have a sinus infection. My head is splitting. I'm shaky and so so nauseated. When I stand up I grey out and fight off spewing my guts. My heart rate is flying. All weekend I battled this but today its even worse. I have a child home sick. Another one due home in 15 minutes and a hubby whose working till 10:30 tonight. All weekend I was forced to be a nonexistent parent. Loaded up on a chemical arsenal, laying in bed. My kids were fine, they are old enough to be OK when I am bed bound. I know this in my head but how do I make myself stop feeling like the looser mom of the year? I hurt so bad today and feel so sick I need to take the meds. But I am doing battle with myself. What about homework, dinner, making sure the kids stay on school nite schedule? I just want to scream. I cant do it. I cant do it! The frustration is so intense. I hate this illness. I HATE DYSAUTONOMIA!